I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Your penis caused this!
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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