You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I need to stop coming to work sober
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize