I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
