lets start a swedish sibling band together
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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