I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
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