ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
