she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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