i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
