farters have to be the big spoon...
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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