super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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