sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
