How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
