whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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