you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
