I think i peed on brittanys purse
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
