i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Ambien. No doubt about it.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I think a kid would responsible me up
You need a sexual gate keeper
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
