omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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