you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
there is glitter all over my balls
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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