Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
