Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
