a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Randomize
