he shaved USA in his pubs
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
