He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
