There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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