Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize