That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
