I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
