the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
