Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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