Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Randomize
