I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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