i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
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