everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
And then the night went full on bisexual.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
