This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize
