He told me they were just razor bumps!
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
