question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
