I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Randomize
