i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
i think im in europe. pls send help
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