Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
