Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize