He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
