I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
