I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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