i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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