Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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