he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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