It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
