? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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