New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
