He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
