the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
