I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
