We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Everclear isn't food dammit
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize