Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
