I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
