I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
