So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
